This past Friday, my mother-in-law and I went to lunch at a cute little tea place near her home. It was lovely, and we had such a fun time. BUT there was just one little blemish on the afternoon:
The owner was cleaning up a nearby table. Looked at my MIL, and then at me, saying conversationally, "Last day of spring break."
She thought I was a kid.
And if I'm lucky, she at least thought I was in high school. If.
My mother-in-law told her that I wasn't on spring break, that I had three children of my own.
Then I felt very compelled to add that I would be turning 35 this month.
I tried not to be too disturbed by her shock at this statement.
The very nice lady told me to enjoy looking so young.
(I told her I would like to invent a different kind of wrinkle cream.)
The thing is, I was almost serious. Okay, I don't want wrinkles or gray hair yet, but I would settle for not looking like my almost teenage son's sister. Do you know if I were as young as some think I am, I have calculated it out: I would have had to have had my son when I was four. Yes, four. And not only is this physically impossible, it is depressing.
Now if this were just a once in a blue moon sort of happening, it probably wouldn't faze me. But unfortunately, it has been the story of my life...
When I had just turned 16, I was on a church bus heading to a youth group retreat. I got chewed out by a kid who thought I was ten years old, trying to go to a high school retreat.
My friends were very offended on my part, one of them telling him that at least I didn't look like I was 35. (Like he did.)
Well, now that I am 35, or almost, I figured I haven't aged that quickly~ if I was ten almost 20 years ago, and now am 16, that's only six years in the past 19. It is clear I am going nowhere fast. At this rate, when my son's voice changes and he is taller than me, they won't think I am his sister, they'll think I'm his girlfriend. And that, my friends, is something that is guaranteed to depress not only me, but my son. I'll be lucky if he wants to go anywhere with me ever again.
Do I sound a little bit bitter? I'm really not. I will admit, it is all a little amusing. And yes, I would rather look younger than older. And yes, I am sure I will love it someday.
But sometimes it would just be so nice
to at least look like I was in college.
Off my soapbox now,